My Favourite Child?
If I had a favourite child, would I admit that to myself-or anyone else? Maybe I secretly do and I just haven’t told anyone yet? I am the mother of three great kids. They are adults now. My middle child often states that she thinks that my youngest son is my favourite. It seems like something a middle child might typically say.
I don’t know that I have a favourite. What does that even mean, really? I love all three of my kids the same. I believe it is fair to treat them all as equally as I can. Certain life circumstances can tangle that up. For example my step mother wants to give my son a keepsake watch that used to be my dad’s. There is no equalivent gift for my girls. However I have a ring from one of my grandmothers and a pearl necklace and earring set from my other grandmother that likely my girls will get passed down to them. I don’t know if they have a preference one way or the other, but I feel as though that sorts out that particular situation.
Getting along with the three of them is completely different. My oldest child was an only child for nearly 5 years, so she was my favourite for those years. I was thought I was not having any more so I didn’t even have to think about that. She was a wonderful child, smart, funny and so sweet. Since my divorce when she was a young teen, my eldest has sort of faded out of my life. This is her choice. At first I was rather upset, but I know that many, many families have one person not speaking to another for whatever reason. I respect her, and her life choices. I do not try and forcer any sort of relationship upon her, though I would like things between us to be mended and perhaps one day she will come around. My door will always be open to her.
My middle daughter is so much fun. She is feisty and unfiltered. She is great at standing up for herself and sharing her opinions with me. She is loving and lovely. She was a difficult teen. Oh was she a difficult teen. Never wrong, ever. Ugh, thank goodness that is over with, honestly if one of them was going to end up not speaking to me, I’d have guessed it was her. She shows so much more respect for me now and we get along well. I also love the man she is dating, which makes it even more fun when we get to visit. When we are having long chats, I sometimes think she is my favourite.
My son. Ah my son. He is one of the most polite, considerate people I’ve ever met. I’d like to think that he took after me, but he is truly his own person. As a baby, I remember saying how content he was. He was an easy baby and I nicknamed him The Golden Boy-though I stopped this years ago, as calling my girls The Golden Girls would have a totally different meaning-ha! The only trouble he ever gave me was that he was over 9lbs when he was born and he tended to land in the emergency room more then the girls did combined. I sometimes think he is my favourite, because he is so easy to talk to and get along with. Like me, he does value harmony. My girls value harmony too, but to a much lesser degree than my son and I.
Growing up I had one sibling, a sister just a year older than I am. As children, she was far more beautiful. she had long brunette ringlets that always seemed to curl just so. My mother kept my straight hair short and I had an eye condition that required eye patches, with the short hair I kind of looked like a boy and far less attractive, so once in a while, I wondered if they liked her more. As children I didn’t feel my parents had a favourite, but as an adult, my mother and I are very close and I look just like her. I can’t say that I am her favourite, nor would I want her to be. My parents made efforts to treat us equally and we appreciate that.
I ponder if getting along better with someone (a relative in particular) is showing preference? I don’t think it is. When life gives you roses, it’s okay to stop, smell and enjoy them. When life gives you children, it’s okay to appreciate them for the different qualities they each possess.
